struggling to make a big decision? flip a coin
decisions — how to make them, how to feel more confident about making them, come up a lot in coaching. a common challenge is overthinking, second-guessing, and analysis-paralysis. in these situations it’s tempting to believe that the solution is to think more, harder. our brains whisper “if we just make one more pro/con list, the answer will appear.” but we rarely solve our problems by doing more of what got us stuck in the first place.
two insights can help us get unstuck and make better decisions.
the first comes from research showing that while conscious deliberation produces better results for simple choices, we’re more satisfied with the results of complex decisions when we leave them to unconscious thought.
unconscious thought refers to the background processing that’s happening even when we’re not actively thinking about something (~95% of our brain function is actually unconscious!) our bodies also contain multiple centers of intelligence, not just our brains; science has shown that complex neural networks exist in our heart and gut as well.
have you ever noticed how many figures of speech we have that speak to the knowing of our bodies?
stomach dropped
skin was crawling
blood boiled
heart fluttered
hair stood on end
i’ll illustrate the second insight using two examples.
two friends once tried an experiment where one let the other make all his decisions for a week. it started as a joke; he wasn’t fond of deciding and she relished the role of interloper.
but as the week went on, he started having more opinions about the choices she was making on his behalf. he started feeling more...decisive.
this example is a little unusual but maybe you’ve experienced a more common version of the same idea at play: there are two cookies left in the display case, peanut butter and chocolate chip. you can't make up your mind. someone walks up, orders the chocolate chip cookie, and suddenly you’re the tear face emoji. both situations highlight how it can be easier to know what we want when you remove the element of choice.
my colleague at the grand, seisei, introduced me to a simple trick that combines both of these insights — the wisdom residing in our bodies and unconscious minds, and the clarity that comes from removing choice — to help you make better decisions.
find a coin, or any two-sided object you can flip.
assign each side an outcome for the decision you’re facing: heads, you do option A, tails, you do option B.
flip your coin and look at the result.
this next step is important — notice what your immediate reaction was to the outcome, before your conscious brain can start analyzing. that instinctive response will probably shed light on what you actually want.
give this a try the next time you need to make a big decision. and let me know if you do!